Woke up this morning
This year, one year into being 30 years old, I finished watching The Sopranos - a TV show about how a New Jersey mafia boss balances his family and work life; and Long Vacation - a TV show about how a 31-year-old Japanese woman got her life together after being dumped at the altar. Both shows are about the mid life.
Yes, I have already reached an age where life is starting to get a little more complicated, when I would be expected to balance between family engagements, work responsibilities, and self-fulfillment. All the conventions of schools and early career - where I just do what I am told - is behind me, and now is the time to start directing all my energy and resources to build a life I actually want.
I understand that there are many paths to living a good life. I just happen to want a very conventional life that most people already are aiming for. I want to be youthful as long as possible. I want to be established in my career. I want a good family life.
Thus, entering an era of me trying to be as productive and mindful as possible.
Middle of this year, me and my boyfriend deleted our food delivery apps and started to cook almost every meal at home. No more ordering take outs just because we were lazy. I started counting the variety of vegetables and fruits we eat every day - 3 types of fruits during the day, 2 types of vegetables at dinner. I started introducing actives to my skincare routine. I try to go to the gym 2-3 times a week.
Work wise, things turned around pretty nicely this year. I was fortunately put in a position to lead an underserved product area (my software’s API offerings), which enabled me to do a lot of meaningful product work, and actually manage a book of clients (data engineering teams of our client companies, who are luckily very patient and chatty). I was able to get involved in customer calls multiple times a week, where I really learned what my clients were struggling with. I came up with a product roadmap that resonated with my clients, which also aligned well across our internal organizations, and our first feature was launched in September. The feature attracted new businesses for us, and also helped retain customers that would have otherwise canceled. It was quite possibly the biggest success in my short career so far, and I love the thrill of servicing customers - delivering a solution that makes their work life easier, beating our competitors; feeling the current of market demand and catching some waves in it.
Family wise, my boyfriend and I entered our 3rd year of dating. I moved in with him late last year, and our lives started to blend into one another. We now divide our chores more evenly - before I was always a guest at his apartment, so he took care of most chores. We now manage a collective calendar filled with events with our mutual friends. Date nights are more casual now that we are no longer pressured to impress each other, and at night I knit in bed while he plays video games at his work desk in front of me. My mom visited me late this year and stayed with us for 6 weeks, where she cooked for us while we both worked, and participated in two birthday trips with us in Miami and Vegas, and a thanksgiving gathering with my boyfriend’s family. I took my first international trip together with my boyfriend and his parents. Third year of dating is filled with milestones, all the while feeling natural and relaxed.
Slowly, my life changed over the years, and suddenly the times when I was in my 20s became a bit unrecognizable. The party girl who would go travel right before a final exam is now serious in building her career; and the expat who celebrated major holidays cooking her own food at her small studio apartment, eating with other expat friends on the floor, now has family gatherings to go to and receives Christmas presents every year. I have weathered through some ups and downs in my 20s - living in a foreign country for the first time, struggling to find a job after college, some major illnesses, situationships and heart breaks, feeling lost and stagnant in my career, moving to new places and finding new friends - and I am grateful things are on an upward trajectory right now.
Throughout my 20s, I learned to always keep multiple support systems - let it be myself, family, friends, career, hobbies, which enabled me to be strong enough to weather some waves. I learned that life always have ups and downs, but in front of life and death, everything is trivial. I am excited for what the next 10 years have for me, and I will for sure continue to cling on to my support systems, however the pendulum swings.
